Long, long ago in a faraway and forgotten land, called something like Afghanistan, a few drunken Russian brigands lumbered into the yard, mumbling and hollering about “the revolution” and “worker’s rights.” I know, I know. Crazy, right? Anyway, some million or so dead Afghanis into this elaborate trespass our own exotic CIA stepped into the situation. They trained those “million or so” dead Afghanis to fight and use guns and to die (again) for Allah. Excitingly, Communism, the Russians’ favorite bar, was crushed soon after by the true modern American hero, Ronald Reagan. Less-than-excitingly, the Afghanis took our boons and decided to form a motorcycle gang known as the Taliban. Those ungrateful whelps!
Anyway, the CIA has reinstated the old project to produce some race of hyper-killing-machine-Muslims.
The CIA is attempting to recruit more spies by advertising on the internet, radio and television, and by holding meetings with American Muslims to make up a severe shortage of Arabic speakers.
The next seven years of Obama’s hundred-year-war will prove to be both enthralling and twice as expensive as the first seven.
